


look at me and smile

by skeletonflower



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23922715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeletonflower/pseuds/skeletonflower
Summary: "If you want us to win the actual games and go to the nationals, don't come to our matches,"-an au where oikawa becomes their team's manager instead of being their captain after he got into a road accident that permanently damaged his knees.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 36





	look at me and smile

**Author's Note:**

> based and inspired by episode 8 of number24. i hope you will like it as much as i liked writing it.

“Oi Shittykawa, don't come to the matches anymore." 

Iwaizumi surprises everyone inside the club room. With everyone feeling defeated and frustrated after their practice match against Karasuno, Iwaizumi's remark adds another heavy tension in the room. Hanamaki immediately looks at Oikawa. As their manager, the brown-haired man was giving advice and sharing his observations to Yahaba earlier about his tosses during their practice match. 

Oikawa now stands frozen, mouth slightly open, shock written on his face. For someone who has known Iwaizumi ever since they were in kindergarten, Oikawa looks as if he is meeting a stranger, grasping the unfamiliarity surrounding Iwaizumi's presence. Oikawa knows every level of serious faces of his best friend, but the ace in front of him is not someone he is used to. The serious face Iwaizumi has is something he has never encountered before.

It looks as if there is a heavy burden coiling inside his best friend, a storm moving to strike, or a timebomb waiting to explode. 

"What?!?," is all Oikawa can reply. He blatantly ignores the members looking between him and the captain.

"My spikes do not pass the blocks with you around," Iwaizumi replies bluntly, walking closely towards Oikawa. Everyone inside the room look confusedly at Iwaizumi, not understanding what their captain meant by that. Kyoutani and Kunimi who are known for their default facial expressions now wear deep frowns on their faces. 

"If you want us to win the actual games and go to the nationals, don't come to our matches," Iwaizumi adds, putting his worn practice clothes inside his gym bag, and placing it on his shoulder.

Oikawa huffs angrily at Iwaizumi, removing the gym bag from his best friend's shoulder, passing it towards Matsukawa, who looks as if he is waiting a moment to interfere between their manager and their captain.

"Why?" For someone who never runs out of words and commentaries, Oikawa looks as if he is only learning his vocabulary. 

Iwaizumi pads towards Matsukawa, and gets his bag from the vice-captain,"Most of my spikes are blocked during the game because you were nearby."

And now everyone, including their coach, who silently walked inside the room after he noticed a heavy silence to the usual loud and crazy atmosphere in the club room, frowns deeply at Iwaizumi. What Iwaizumi is saying does not make any sense. 

"What do you mean?" Hanamaki suddenly asks for Oikawa's sake, and the team's.

"I have not been doing well ever since Oikawa decided to be our team manager."

"You did not have a problem before when we were teammates," Oikawa thankfully finds his words back, frustratedly running his hands on his messy hair. Oikawa suddenly looks worn out and sad, but no one in the room dares to lay a comforting hand on him.

"I don't know. I do not really know. I cannot fucking know," Iwaizumi furiously yells, bringing more uneasiness within the small space of their club. He always looks angrily towards his childhood friend yet it is always just for a banter, the language of their years of friendship, 

But this. This is the first time he looks seriously angry.

Calm-faced angry Iwaizumi is rare to happen, but Oikawa always recognizes one easily, always without a second thought. 

He slowly moves back from Iwaizumi, giving them enough space between them. The space is only a few meters yet Oikawa never felt so far away from his best friend. He want to reach out a hand, but he knows he will only get rejected.

"Care to explain, Iwaizumi," their coach intervenes, passing a thick notebook to Oikawa where he diligently wrote his observations, analysis, and strategies for each game Seijoh participated ever since he became their manager.

"My body gets stiff when Oikawa is looking at me, observing me. It is different when we were teammates before."

"Are you just blaming me for your poor performance? For fuck's sake, you're now the captain of the team," Oikawa spats frustratingly at Iwaizumi, blinking back the tears on his eyes.

"It is not your fault. I'm just simply saying I can't spike strongly against our opponents like I used to when I have you around. Everytime I spike, it always does not go the way I wanted. In fact, I really think it is all my fault," Iwaizumi calmly replies, placing a hand on Oikawa's shoulders. 

"Then just practice more," Oikawa suggests.

"We only have two weeks left," Iwaizumi looks directly at his best friend, sending a telepathic message that even he himself does not know the answer to his performance when Oikawa is around.

"Oi, Iwaizumi, do you think there is something off for you?" The vice-captain asks.

"There is," Iwaizumi maintains his eye contact with his best friend, "but I do not know. All I know is I always feel something heavy, weighing me down everytime Oikawa is near me."

"Do you think you're just pressured now that you replaced him as our captain?" Yahaba reluctantly joins the conversation.

"No, it is not. I know the pressure of being one, I had embraced it. The fact is I only have problems with my spike every time he watches our game. It did not happen when he went to his check-ups," Iwaizumi answers honestly. 

Oikawa feels a punch on his gut, twisting deeply making his heart ache. He cannot help the tears from falling, "So now I am just a burden to you as the captain for the team. You do not like me inside the court with you, even as a manager. How can I be the manager of the team when you do not allow me to?"

"That is not what I mean," Iwaizumi answers defensively but Oikawa ignores it. He shrugs the hand from his shoulder off, and walks away from the room. Iwaizumi follows right after.

Kindaichi breaks the silence from everyone in the room and asks Hanamaki, "Will they be okay? They always fight but they always make up within the day."

Matsukawa and Hanamaki share a look and give a heavy sigh, "No, they won't."

\----

Matsukawa, as the vice-captain, lands the biggest responsibility of making their captain and manager make up. He never expected for this to happen.

A year ago, he is just one of the middle blockers for the team, but life sometimes does not go the way he wished them to be. Oikawa lost his chance to enjoy and play his favorite sports when he got into a road accident that permanently damaged his knees, preventing him to do extraneous activity on worsening his condition.

The former captain was placed on six months rehabilitation, having their former vice-captain stayed closely by his side. Everyone thought it was the end for Oikawa Tooru's history in volleyball but surprisingly and expectedly, Oikawa is nothing but determined when he randomly asks Iwaizumi during one of their afternoon practices,

"I can be the team's manager, right? The team does not even have a manager like Karasuno who has a charming beauty as their manager. I think it is about time for the team to have a charming beauty. You deserve a beauty like me,too."

Iwaizumi objects immediately, "No, you cannot. You are still not okay. You still have to do regular check-ups and sometimes your knees are still acting up. You think I have not noticed that."

Hanamaki and Matsukawa, being the ones used to the bickering of the two, answer bluntly, "Why not, Iwaizumi? It is about time for us to have one. Oikawa knows how we work and play. Having him will help us have a great advantage to the games."

"Still no."

"Iwa-chan please."

"No, I cannot have you do that."

"You're the only one on the team opposed to it."

"So what? I am still their captain."

"What a commanding captain."

"Blah. Blah. Blah. Still no. N. O. No," Iwaizumi seriously says and raises his eyebrows at Oikawa challenging him for objection.

Oikawa changes his expression from acting coyly and jokingly to desperate and frustrated, mumbling the words only Iwaizumi can only hear inside the court, 

"Please let me stay close to my only dream. Please let me stay close to Volleyball."

No one knows about it, not even Matsukawa or Hanamaki. Whatever Oikawa said to Iwaizumi that time is something that made Iwaizumi very, very, supportive of Oikawa as their newly assigned manager.

But now, it seems like every member of their team thinks Iwaizumi is the only one having problems in Oikawa as their manager. Matsukawa thinks otherwise. 

Oikawa as the manager of the team where Iwaizumi is the captain is not actually the problem. Oikawa as the best friend and close partner of Iwaizumi is really the problem.

It has been three days since their coach asked him to help the two resolve their issues, but so far his attempts are not working. Everything fails especially now that Iwaizumi and Oikawa avoid each other to the point that they break their routine of going to school and walking home. Iwaizumi only attends the morning practices while Oikawa only observes the afternoon practices. Their coach has no choice but to accept these conditions for fear of worsening the team dynamics.

Matsukawa sadly runs out of ideas, and asks Hanamaki for advice.

His plan also fails when Iwaizumi notices Matsukawa dragging Oikawa towards their place in the cafeteria.

"We still have one and half-week left. There is still time," Kyoutani surprisingly is the one who encourages his seniors.

\-----

Iwaizumi notices the obvious attempts by Matsukawa and sometimes their team members but ignores it. He will avoid Oikawa for as long as he can even if it is to the end of the matches. Iwaizumi admittedly knows he cannot do it and he knows Oikawa well enough to know that Oikawa cannot bear to avoid Iwaizumi longer.

Sooner or later, one of them will approach the one first. That is usually how their friendship works.

Since he is not attending the afternoon practice, Iwaizumi is given more free time after classes to do anything, but he finds himself empty without his best friend around. He thinks himself crazy. 

He cannot make up his mind whether he wants Oikawa's presence or not. 

"No, it is only a problem when he is around when I am playing volleyball," he mumbles to himself. 

He suddenly hears a loud 'Boke!!' and notices his previous junior racing with his new team mate.

The taller one raises his fist when he declared himself the winner of the race, "I won."

"No," the shorter orange-haired student objects immediately, but holds his hand out to the taller one. When the taller one clasps the other's hand, they walk slowly towards an open court. 

Iwaizumi now notices one volleyball tucked under Kageyama. They look like they will be practicing for their freak duo and improve it. 

Observing the two, Iwaizumi flashes his mind back to the times where he and Oikawa used to practice together at the same court. He misses the erratic heartbeats and extreme adrenaline he feels every time he hits Oikawa's tosses. It is freeing. 

He has been unconsciously watching the two that he fails to notice Kageyama rushing towards him to get the volleyball that rolled over near him.

Kageyama widens his eyes when he notices his middle school senior in front of him, making him blurt out the only thing he notices seeing his former senior, "Where is Oikawa-san?"

Iwaizumi kind of expected it. Every time he is alone, others will always ask about Oikawa. Instead of getting frustrated by the usual remarks, he is always happy to answer that he has a life outside Oikawa, knowing that at the end of the day, Oikawa will still be by his side, sticking closely to him like glue.

It is a different feeling, a disappointing feeling knowing that Oikawa will not be by his side at the end of the day today. He ignores the painful prick inside his chest when he thinks of it.

Iwaizumi schools his expression to nonchalant, and answers, "He's observing the afternoon practice." 

"Why are you not there, Iwaizumi-san? You are their captain, right?" Kageyama holds the volleyball on his arm and walks towards him. Hinata follows closely, tugging the back of Kageyama's shirt. Kageya turns back and looks at his middle spiker. He ruffles the shorter one's hair, and passes the ball to him.

Hinata greets and bows Iwaizumi, then tiptoeing and places a light peck on Kageyama's cheek. Kageyama reddens his face and slightly pushes Hinata away, "Boke! Someone is in front of us." 

Hinata only sticks his tongue out, moving farther away from them.

"I'm sorry about that. I do not know what was on his mind to do that,"

"I don't really mind," Iwaizumi answers honestly.

"So, Iwaizumi-san, can you answer my question before we got distracted? I know it has been a while to see you or even talk to you outside the court, but your face shows as if you are blocked by a big wall of blockers in front of you. So, clearly, you may have a problem. And I think Oikawa-san has something to do with it."

"Ahhh," Iwaizumi raises his eyebrows at his junior, quite shocked that Kageyama observed right and even had the courage to say it on his face. It is like he is seeing a new Kageyama.

"Oh," Kageyama notices his confusion and answers one of his thoughts, "I learned it from Hinata, saying that showing facial expressions is not enough to show communication. I am sorry for saying too much."

Iwaizumi is taken aback for his blunt honesty, but he gives a small grin to Kageyama, "It is okay. As for your question, Oikawa and I had a fight, if you would like to call that a fight, in our last practice match and we kind of avoiding each other."

"Can I ask what happened?" Kageyama asks silently, distractedly watching Hinata flies to the air and spikes the volleyball. 

Iwaizumi thinks he does not have anything to lose, confidently knowing that albeit Kageyama knowing how to voice out some of his concerns, Kageyama can keep the story on himself and Hinata.

So Iwaizumi quickly narrates what happened last match, adding some of his thoughts, sharing what he really feels when Oikawa is around and when he plays volleyball, 

"Whenever Oikawa is not around during one of our practices, I always spike better than when he is around. I do not know every time I look at him and his face ever since he became our manager, I always feel something is off. And when I felt that something, my arms always freeze and stiffen, affecting how I play. It burdens me and the team heavily."

Kageyama looks at him deeply, placing his right hand on his chin, doing the thinker pose, "Do you think you are still adjusting to him being your manager since you are so used to him as your setter?"

"No, I have accepted that months ago, and I was the one who supported and brought the materials he needed as our new manager. Thing is, I always feel like there is something not right whenever I look at him across from him outside the court. It is not actually about how he is not inside the court with me, but more about how he is looking at me every match I play."

"Hmmm, maybe you are looking for something from Oikawa-san. What is it? I do not know, it is up to you to know and recognize actually. All I know is, every time someone plays inside the court, one cannot deny to feel something off at some point on their play.It is normal to feel that way, I used to feel that too but I overcame it," Kageyama admits truthfully and grins happily, smiling at Hinata spiking the water bottle they bought earlier from the supermarket.

"What was it to you? How were you able to overcome it?" Iwaizumi now sees Kageyama in a different light. His junior seems genuinely happy and comfortable with his teammates. He truly is a new Kageyama and it brings a soft smile on Iwaizumi.

"I used to feel something off every time I toss, not knowing and sure whether I have someone receive or spike the ball I toss. It used to eat me up every time I thought about it, but now thanks to someone and my other team mates, I know there will always be someone behind me supporting me. And every time, every time I look back at Hinata, he never fails to smile at me regardless if the ball made the point or not. He is just always there, giving me the smiles, reassuring me that he will always be at my back. He is there for me."

Something suddenly clicks on his mind. Oikawa smiling. Oikawa genuinely smiling. At him. Every time he spikes the ball Oikawas tossed at him.

Iwaizumi quickly stands up from their seat they got inside the open court earlier. Kageyama says nothing, sure that Iwaizumi now has his answers on what is something is off with him.

"Do you think I can borrow the gym in Kitagawa Daiichi tomorrow?"

"Yes, Iwaizumi-san. I think the new coach is better at handling the volleyball team members better than we had, to the point that they have Thursdays as their free day since it is close on weekends." 

Iwaizumi ruffles Kageyama on his hair, "I am happy for you on finding someone. Thank you."

He abruptly exits and walks towards the direction of their junior high school.

Kageyama stays on his seat, waiting and waiting for Hinata to reach him, like the shorter one always does. Hinata is always there to find him.

Hinata plops clumsily beside him, getting the water bottle offered by Kageyama, "Will they be okay?"

Kageyama looks at the direction Iwaizumi took, and softly answers, "They will. They always will. I know it."

\---------

Iwaizumi walks towards their junior high school gymnasium, introduces himself to the new coach of the volleyball team, and asks for permission to use the gym for tomorrow. 

He goes home holding a duplicate key of his former school gymnasium. 

For the first time in three days, Iwaizumi is excited for tomorrow albeit being slightly nervous. 

\---- 

Iwaizumi wakes up thirty-minutes earlier than his alarm, mentally preparing himself for the end of the day.

He wants to wait up for Oikawa but decides not to. By tomorrow, he hopes he can walk with Oikawa to school. Instead he messages a text to Oikawa, after three days of no contact.

'Can you meet me at our junior high school gym after the team's practice later? I have something to tell you.' He sends his first message.

'Don't think about skipping afternoon practice. I know you.'He sends the second message five minutes later.

He receives a sleepy selfie from Oikawa instead, sticking his tongue out at him.

Despite the messages, he does not try to approach Oikawa during their school period and break. 

When the last bell for their last period rings, Iwaizumi stuffs and organizes his things on his bag.

Exiting the room, he sees Hanamaki and Matsukawa, holding one of each arm of Oikawa, dragging their manager towards him. Iwaizumi ignores them, but sends another message to Oikawa, 'See you at the gym later.'

\----

Iwaizumi is given two hours inside their gym. He has one hour for himself, while the other one with his best friend.

When he enters the room, he immediately sees the photos collected by different years of their volleyball team. He scans and happily smiles when he recognizes one of their photos. It was the time when Kageyama was tugging Oikawa's jacket while he and Oikawa were bumping their fists together while Kindaichi and Kunmini stayed by their side. 

It has been a long time since he has been at Oikawa's side. 

As each other's neighbors. 

As each other's childhood friends.

As each other's best friends.

As Iwaizumi's setter. As Oikawa's spiker.

And now, as Iwazumi's manager. And, as Oikawa's captain.

Iwaizumi recalls the first time he ended up playing volleyball. He did not have any interest on it before, but Oikawa insisted him to follow. Oikawa asked him to play, to spike his tosses wherever it came from. Growing tired of his bug catching, he listened.

Oikawa is always ahead of him, but he always offers his hand out closely to Iwaizumi, squeezing it as if saying Iwaizumi, he is not there to follow, but to walk with him.

Years of playing, it becomes a muscle memory for him to spike whatever toss sent his way. Hitting it to the place he thinks that gives them advantage to a point.

Even so, ever since Oikawa became their manager, Iwaizumi starts missing his spikes or having his spikes blocked. He does not know what made him uneasy and nervous.

His recollection of memories brought him back to the time when he talked to Oikawa on his first day of rehabilitation.

"I will also quit volleyball. I only played volleyball because you played it. If you quit, I'll do the same," Iwaizumi holds the clenched fists of his best friend in between his hands.

Oikawa looks at him funnily," Are you dumb, Iwa-chan? You love volleyball even if I was the one who introduced it to you. You love volleyball on your own. You love playing it."

"But--," Iwaizumi is cut off when Oikawa pushes a finger on his lips.

"No buts, Iwa-chan. You have to play. You're so good at it. You should play. You must play. For me," Oikawa drops a single tear while Iwaizumi rubs his fists, "For us."

Oikawa looks at him endearingly, and gives him a small smile.

"It has been a while," Iwaizumi stands up from sitting beside Oikawa.

"What?" Oikawa curiously asks.

"It has been a while since I saw you smile. You had not smiled, at least genuinely, after the accident," Iwaizumi cups Oikawa's face in between his hands and gives him a bop to the nose.

Oikawa's smiles grow larger. 

"Of course, how could I not smile? What I said is true. Even if I know you will always be able to spike a ball sent your way,  
Even though I know you'll be able to spike it it always makes my heart soar, seeing you fly to the air. I always look up to you and your spikes always make me smile, as if I am sharing the same view you always see from the top," 

Iwaizumi mourns right after the recollection, and erases his thoughts. He sets up the box of volleyballs inside the court and gets one. He tosses and catches the ball, thinking solemnly.

Then what will happen when I don't make it? 

When I missed my spikes.

When my spikes get continuously blocked. 

Will he stop smiling again?

It is as if I started getting eaten away by my thoughts. The moment I imagined Oikawa losing his smile, the accuracy and strength if my spikes faded. And I stopped being able to make the spike.

His thoughts are disturbed when Oikawa steps into the room, carefully placing his backpack at the corner where Iwaizumi put his bag. 

Oikawa sadly looks at him, and mutters, "I am here."

"Iwa-chan," he looks at him longingly and sighs heavily, "It is fine, I won't go anymore. If you can spike better without me around, it will probably be for the best of the team. As your manager, I will just take notes to the videos of your play and send it to Matsukawa."

"Don't make that kind of face," Iwaizumi scowly says to him, "I do not want you making that kind of face."

Iwaizumi pinches Oikawa's cheeks and tugs it higher.

"Iwa-chan, please don't pinch me. It hurts. What is your problem?"

"Give me a smile. Give me your smile." Iwaizumi releases his hands from Oikawa's cheeks.

When Oikawa remains frozen in front of him, looking dazed and confused, Iwaizumi places his arms in front of his chest and says, "Hurry."

"Uhh like this?" Oikawa asks reluctantly and gives him a small smile.

"That is level one of your smile. A fake one," Iwaizumi replies, tapping his foot inside the gym, encouraging Oikawa to continue.

"What do you mean by that, Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi ignores Oikawa's question, and rubs his cheeks tenderly.

"Oikawa, you love my spikes, right?" he asks his best friend instead. Oikawa only nods his head, with pride and certainty despite his confusion.

"Even now?"

"What?"

"Even though my spikes can't pass the block, do you still like watching me? Even if I can't spike flawlessly to a perfect place, do you still enjoy looking at me?" Iwaizumi lowers his head down, looking as if he is losing his confidence.

When Oikawa sees him, he cups Iwaizumi's face in between his hands, nodding his head furiously, 

"Yes, Iwa-chan, I like watching you. I always like it. I love it. I always love it. I love you."

Oikawa blushes when he realizes what he uttered last. He does not like to confess in this kind of situation, knowing they are still fixing the whatever happened last practice game. His confession should have a better timing than this.

Iwaizumi widens his eyes upon hearing the last part, and calmly mutters, "I see."

He turns his back away from his best friend, pads slowly towards the other side of the net, and gets a volleyball on the ground. Oikawa notices him, figuring out that Iwaizumi will be doing his spike in his presence. He walks backwards to the end side of the court, giving Iwaizumi more space. 

Iwaizumi, gasping a deep and heavy breath, looks confidently to the form of his best friend, and thinks, "If Oikawa will smile whether or not the spike goes in or not, there is nothing to worry about."

He tosses the volleyball to the air, waits for the ball to reach his desired height, and flies.

He spikes the ball hardly, strongly, and with the most comfort he had in months.

Oikawa runs quickly to him, continuously shouting, "You did it! You should do it again. It is a good moment for you, Iwa-chan."

When he reaches the front side of the other net, Iwaizumi abruptly stops him, "Don't move."

Oikawa stills.

Separated by the lines of the net, Iwaizumi walks closely to Oikawa. He motions Oikawa to do the same. This time around, Oikawa follows.

Iwaizumi believed that he would never be able to convey his feelings, always afraid and anxious to the endless possibilities of ruining their friendship. But for the first time ever, Iwaizumi is the one who crosses the line first.

Iwaizumi pushes both of his hands in between the lines of the net, grasps the side of the neck of Oikawa from the other side of the net, and meets his lips quickly and smoothly as Iwaizumi's spikes, precisely and exact as Oikawa's toss. 

He smiles at him dearly and replies, "No, I am fine now. I know I've already gotten what I wanted. What I always wanted."

Iwaizumi crouches down to reach to the other side of the net. Oikawa offers him a hand.

Their hands meet halfway, squeezing tightly together. Iwaizumi tugs it to his lips and softly kisses Oikawa's knuckles.

For the first time in four days, they walk home together.

\---

Even if it isn't the future we envisioned.  
Even if it isn't ideal, it is fine.  
As long as you’re with me.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reaching to the end. i would like to explain that i changed some parts on what happened between sei and natsu since i know they have different dynamics from iwaoi. i just love childhood friends to lovers trope and watching number 24 made me miss iwaoi. that is also why i chose making iwaizumi resolve their issues even without matsuhana's help. i always see him as someone who knows and confident with his friendship to oikawa enough to know what went wrong and what can he do. 
> 
> please watch number 24 and listen to Kimi to Iru Nara and cry with me.
> 
> pls do comment, i would like t.o know your thoughts and feelings. x.


End file.
